GUIDING THOUGHTS EP.1 : I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN

Nobody asked me if I wanted to be born. Now I’m just breathing in and out. Born with the use of the usual senses. Very spectacular and confusing.

Research tells me that there are some things I should avoid, and some things I should try to accomplish.

Change is one of the things I should accomplish. Luckily all I need is for time to pass and I can check that one off. Creating a lifestyle is another thing I should accomplish, and I’ll maybe have to do that a couple different times. The task of creating a lifestyle comes with a lot of options.

I think I’m a canvas. I think I’m like clay ready to be moulded.

I’m looking for a solution to the changing problem of life. I’m looking for a channel for the flowing water.

My cat sits around all day. And that’s fine with me. Would I mind if I sat around all day? After all I didn’t ask to be born. I don’t put expectations on my cat.

What would my guilt be trying to tell me? Why would I feel bad staying still? I didn’t ask to feel bad either.

One more person for the world. What can I do for you world? I didn’t ask to be born, but I’m here so I might as well ask what you want.

Research tells me that there might be purpose(s) for me and maybe it’s to reconcile the fact that I didn’t ask to be born.

Does life owe me the spectrum of emotion because it chose to flow through my body and animate me? Does life owe me a purpose?

It looks like my cat exists to exist. So perhaps anything beyond continued breath is a cherry on top.

By that standard I think I can live very happily.

Research tells me there are those who think existing is not enough of a purpose and there is something “more” somewhere else. I disagree.

Decisions have to be made, because I have to eat. I didn’t ask to be hungry. Something has to end for me to continue. I’m sorry.

I will enjoy. I will celebrate. I will respect. I will be grateful. Then die. ✌